I tried to save you
by Thecricketsarecalling
Summary: An inside look on the past of Amanda and the sheriff from Hatchet III.


_**2006**_

_Sheriff Fowler froze on his hands and knees. His large flicking hazel eyes widened as his jaw dropped. _

"_Amanda?"_

_Luis said as his eyes widened in utter disbelief, right away a horrible weight replaced his stomach and a feeling of complete dread and terror was replaced by the panic that made his entire body go numb. What was she doing here? The last time she had seen her was earlier today at the station. How did she get here? _

"_Who?"_

_Asked the paramedic who was curled up against the wall like a frightened child. _

"_That's my wife!"_

_He said instantly knowing he had to find her. He had to protect her just as he always had during and after their marriage. The only other time he had felt this helpless was five years ago when the baby was stillborn. The baby they had so badly wanted and tried for most of the better part of their marriage. At that exact moment he knew how stupid the two of them had been for the last four years. It was clear they still loved each other and the divorce was a simple quick fix for a pain they both felt and should have dealt with together. All of this wasted time made Luis angry. He loved Amanda and had strong feelings for her. The thought of her in this swamp all alone scared him to death. Right away he knew he had to find her. Without thinking he crawled on his hands and knees poking his head out of the twisted torn open wall. Gazing outward into the darkness he felt the humid breeze against his face._

"_Amanda!"_

_He screamed loudly hoping she was smart enough to stay put. He knew the second he found her he would wrap his arms around her tight and tell her how sorry he was. He wanted to let her know he believed her, and that he would do anything he could to make things right._

_**Ten years earlier.**_

Amanda's eyelashes fluttered open as she gazed up at the ceiling of her bedroom. It was still dark out and the sliding glass door to the back patio was partly open, causing a warm night breeze to come fluttering across the plastic blinds. Like most nights in Texas, the temperatures had dropped but still lingered. She knew if she got up, pushed the blinds across and stared out she would see a full moon shinning down as crickets chirped in the bushes. Turning over, feeling the smooth sheets and plush comforter surround her body before she rolled over slightly and stared at the empty side of the bed. Sighing, she knew that Luis was probably in his office, restless as always as he usually was whenever they had a tough night like this.

She knew the doctor's appointment had really gotten to him.

They had gone to the best fertility specialist in the state. After being married officially ten years this fall, they had been trying to start a family for nearly eight of them. Both knew that they wanted children long before they were even engaged. This was back when they first began, dating and still so hopeful for the future. Both had come from large families and expressed their hopes and dreams of someday many years in the future to have children.

Both were from Huston, she was a local reporter working for a small newspaper in the local area. All ready she had begun establishing a name for herself, and several of her stories had made the front page.

Luis had gone to the academy and was working as a deputy at one of the stations when she came to interview him on a minor hit and run case he had worked on. He still remembered that day clearly, how she had walked into the place as if she owned it. She was this spunky little firecracker of a red head. Her hair chopped short, her blue eyes dazzling, and a tape recorder in one hand. Both had met in the back room after he had been given the okay to release a few statements to her. Over a few cups of coffee, he found himself falling in love with her.

They were complete opposites, yet somehow it worked. Before long after they exchanged rings, and began leading their life's together...the topic of children were brought up and at the time both couldn't have thought of a better idea. They were younger of course, bright eyed towards the future, and crazy about each other. The thought of having a baby with each other seemed almost as if it was the most romantic idea in the entire world.

But it just didn't happen like that.

At first it seemed fun and exciting. Amanda's sister told her, who had three children of her own that she was sure she would get pregnant before the end of the year. Amanda day dreamed about babies with her red hair, and his flickering grayish blue eyes.

But time passed, and no baby...

Now all these years later, after months upon months of trying, becoming confused and frustrated. Nearly everyone they knew their age were starting families, and raising their babies right in front of them. It seemed almost as if everyone had a baby around them but them. In fact in their neighborhood they were the only couple on the block without children. Hundreds upon hundreds of failed pregnancy tests were thrown into the garbage.

First she went to the doctor's, then him. They searched all the little tricks, ideas, positions, read all the books, drank tea, quit smoking, exercised, and did anything they could to conceive. Both ate healthier, made sure everything was fine with her. The tests, painful hormone shots, and appointments began to pile up. The same went for Luis who's sperm count seemed perfectly fine. Both began feeling more and more frustrated as time crawled by, planning carefully whenever she was ovulating, taking her temperature, hoping that each time this would finally be it.

Month after month the constant disappointment came whenever Amanda found herself doubled over with cramps that she was feeling ever since she got off the pill. Each time she got her period she knew this was yet another ghost of a baby that her and Luis so badly wanted.

Now all these years later, they knew people were starting to talk and whisper. The spare room continued being the exercise room instead of the nursery they dreamed up. Both knew the stress was getting to them, but hoped that any day would finally be the start of the beginning of a new future.

The doctor explained to them that psychically they were perfectly healthy and nature would hopefully take it's course. Luis of course left the doctor's angry, glaring ahead out the windshield as Amanda slipped her hand into his.

"You okay?"

She had asked, perfectly knowing every facial expression, every mood change. In fact she knew Luis like the back of her hand. Whenever he was upset, she could see it coming a mile away. Just as he was in the doctor's office. Silent, moody, and staring straight ahead. Trying his hardest to hide his true emotions.

Luis continued to drive looking plenty upset as he shifted slightly in his seat and pulled their car onto the main road.

"Those doctors don't know Jack shit. We've been going to them for nearly forever...ain't nothing the matter, let nature take it's course...well something must be wrong if it hasn't happened yet. Just a bunch of no good assholes not worth a tin shit!"

Amanda sighed before slowly swallowing. The two were just on the verge of turning forty, and she knew perfectly well that time was starting to slip away from them. It was only just a few more years before the flicking dream of theirs died. Sighing she hated herself that she hadn't caught pregnant yet. Even through they had both for years been carefully looked over by the doctor's, proving both were perfectly physically healthy to conceive, guilt still lingered. She knew there were more expensive ways to try and gave a baby. Most of which were still in the early stages of really being proven to work. She knew maybe a surrogate, or adoption might be lurking in the shadows. They had briefly brought up both but Amanda had wanted to have her own baby. She knew Luis and herself would love a child no matter where it came from, but she so badly wanted to be one of those glowing pregnant women who everyone looked at with envy and happiness. She wanted their child to both be a half of them, and she wanted to feel it grow inside of her.

Luis almost sensing her thoughts glanced over, calming himself down before frowning. Raising her hand which was holding his, he brought it up to his lips and softly kissed the top of it before smirking.

"Sorry honey..."

A few hours later both were at it again. It was a humid night and both had opted for opening up the windows to let in a breeze instead of turning the central air on. Laying there in the queen sized bed they had shared all these years, Amanda laid there holding her legs back as Luis laid between them, huffing and thrusting as hard as he could. She knew he was upset, and seeing his blood pressure get this high wasn't good at all. His face was flushed as he carefully continued to pump into her, his eyes direct and serious as he stared down at her. Amanda laid there, taking deep breaths as she tried to focus on what they were doing. She loved this man with all her heart. This was the man who she had fallen in love with ever since she first saw him walking across campus all those years ago. The man who brought her to the drive-in on their first date and they sat on the hood of his old Camero drinking cheap wine. The man who she had spent more than a decade with through good times and bad, watching him age into a handsome well respected man who she loved with all her heart. This was her husband and she knew he wanted a baby with her more than anything and it completely broke her heart that two people who were so in love were having such a hard time.

Luis stared ahead at the headboard as he went into her, Amanda holding onto his ass and hips. Laying back from the pressure, she felt his weight pin her down as he began to quicken his pace. More than anything she wanted to wrap her arms around his broad back, kissing his face and tell him everything would be all right. But she knew better, she knew whenever this was happening it was better to lay still and wait until it was over.

That's when he stared down at her, nodding his head as he gasped for breath, still trying his hardest to hold off. She knew he was close and waited as he pushed harder into her once, twice, and then jerked down and moaned before finishing. Amanda smiled up at him, feeling a strange overwhelming feeling of love for the man she married. He took a moment before she knew he was waiting, still inside of her to make sure he completely finished. Looking down at her, sweating slightly he used one of his hands to cup one of her breasts.

"You okay?"

Amanda took a second before nodding. Licking her lips she smiled.

"I'm fine..."

Pulling out of her, he rolled over still catching his breath while Amanda slid her hands under her thighs and rocked back putting her legs in the air. Luis sighed staring at her before reaching over and kissing her softly on the mouth. Reaching over he held up one of her legs before he stroked her hair, carefully looking at her. Fifteen minutes later she was able to put her sore legs down and both climbed out of bed to wash up for the night. Changing into an old academy shirt of his, Amanda washed her face before crawling into bed with her husband and snuggling in close, placing her head against his chest.

Putting his arm around her both fell asleep listening to each other breath.

Now a few hours later Amanda was awake and knew Luis was up probably worrying. Getting up, she grabbed her short plum colored silk robe that stopped just above her knees. Putting it on and feeling the smooth cool fabric against her skin, she tied it off and walked barefoot across the hard wooden floor and out into the hallway. Just as she suspected, Luis was sitting in his office, staring blankly at his computer screen, drinking a beer from the fridge. Standing in the doorway, Amanda leaned in staring at him for a second. Luis was in sweats and an old faded T-shirt he wore usually whenever he was sitting around the house. The computer screen dimly lit up his face casting a blueish tint to it as he stared with exhausted circles around his eyes.

Just then he looked up, giving her the same tired handsome smile that had won her over so many years ago.

"Hey honey..."

"It's almost four in the morning...couldn't sleep?"

"Yeah, it's the damn heat...decided to try and get some work done but I keep spacing out..."

Luis pushed back his chair slightly as Amanda came around.

"You sure that's it?"

Luis looked up.

"What?"

"You sure your not upset over what the doctor said?"

Coming around, Amanda welcomed Luis' open arms before sitting down on his lap. Putting her arms loose around his neck she smiled at him as he rubbed her side, his hand traveling to her hips and then her leg.

"No...just tired I guess."

Amanda nodded in agreement before reaching over and taking a swig from Luis' beer bottle. Sitting there she smiled at him. Career wise things were going good. She was working part time on her articles, and Luis was deputy to the North police station here. Money was coming in nicely, and everything seemed in line...yet still there was an emptiness floating around. She knew the two of them weren't getting any younger and as much as they loved living in Houston, it seemed as if they badly needed a change.

Running her fingers through the back of his chair, she smiled before wrinkling her nose at him.

"You know something...we should start having some fun."

Luis looked at her, an eyebrow slightly raised.

"Huh?"

"We've been working all the time lately. You're always at the station and I'm always writing for the paper. It's about time we start traveling, go on vacation, kick back our feet."

Luis laughed before gently stroking her face.

"God I love you..."

Smiling, Amanda decided to simply put all her fears and worries away for the moment. She wanted to stop making love to her husband the way they did tonight. She simply decided that for just right now she no longer wanted to worry about having a baby. Smiling, she began to slowly and deeply kiss her husband, feeling as if nobody could love somebody as much as she loved him.

_**Two months later.**_

Amanda sat at the breakfast bar early one morning, stirring her coffee lazily with her spoon, she glanced over at the newspaper before Luis walked in, dressed handsomely in his uniform.

"Morning darling."

Amanda glanced up as Luis made his way over to the coffee pot. Taking his travel mug, he began to pour some when Amanda suddenly felt her stomach roll. Sitting up straight, Amanda took a second before cupping her hand over her mouth. Her eyes widening, she felt completely nauseated before she slid off her chair nearly knocking it over and began to run. Turning, Luis watched her as she ran to the sink and vomited right into it. Gagging, she spit as her back arched and she threw up again.

"Honey?"

He asked concerned as he hurried over. Placing his hands on her back, he stared down at her before she stood up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Yuck..."

Turning the paper on, she cupped her hand and let it fill with water before slurping some and swishing it around in her mouth. Spitting it out, she sighed loudly before turning around.

"I don't know what came over me...sorry."

Frowning, Luis rubbed her shoulders before she smiled at him.

"Guess I caught that bug that's been going around."

"Come on darling...drink some water."

Turning, Amanda cupped her hand under the faucet and let the icy cold water pour into it as she bent her head down and drank, swishing the water around before spitting again, trying her hardest to get that terrible acid taste out of her mouth. Feeling her head pound, she knew the wave of nausea was going to make her dizzy. The idea of curling up on their sofa sounded pretty inviting at that exact moment.

Turning the sink off, Amanda turned before Luis made her look into his eyes. Carefully staring at her, Luis gently touched her chin.

"You okay?"

Amanda nodded.

"Yeah, I might call out through. I gotta finish the story of that missing high school girl, and I got a ton of paper work to catch up on but I might try to tackle it here today, I've been feeling pretty awful the last couple of days..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, my stomach has been super upset, I almost threw up yesterday when I got up too quickly, and I've been feeling really overtired. Guess I'm just trying to meet my deadline in time."

"Think you might have that bug huh?"

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna make myself a pot of tea and go straight to bed."

Smiling softly, Amanda looked at her husband before he smiled and used the back of his hand to see if she was warm or not. Frowning, he nodded.

"You want me to stay home today?"

"No of course not. I'm just lay in bed and take a nap before trying to tackle all this work I gotta get done."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tonight okay?"

"Sure, tell you what...I'll make dinner and it will be very romantic."

Amanda laughed rolling her eyes.

"Don't tell me, two pizzas fully loaded?"

Grinning, Luis bent down and kissed Amanda.

"A woman after my own heart...listen if you need anything call me okay?"

"Sure, have a good day hun."

Kissing her again, Luis turned and walked out the back door as Amanda watched. The second she heard the faint sound of his car leaving the driveway, her mind began to race. She knew something wasn't right, and her mind wouldn't be at ease until she went to the drug store.

**Later... **

Luis came home a little after four. He had called Amanda around lunchtime to check in, and she sounded perfectly normal over the phone. She said she hadn't thrown up again and besides feeling a little tired she was perfectly fine. Walking back through the front door, Luis felt exhausted. It had been a very long day filled with lots and lots of paperwork.

After his last round, he headed home and knew ordering a couple of pizzas and cracking open a nice old beer would be the perfect way to relax. In fact, he hoped Amanda was feeling better since one of her world famous blow jobs she only gave once in a blue moon would be exactly what he would need to unwind and forget the long day. Whistling under his breath, he began to unhook his belt to lay on the counter.

"Honey! I'm home!"

Taking his gun out and double checking it was on safety, he began to hum when Amanda appeared in the kitchen doorway, looking pretty in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

"Hey honey...how you feeling?"

Amanda smiled, tears of joy almost glittering in her eyes before she held up the home pregnancy test.

"I'm pregnant!"

Luis' jaw dropped at that exactly moment as his hands lost his grip on his belt and it crashed to the floor.

**Seven months later.**

The pregnancy had come as a great surprise to both Amanda and Luis. Quickly after Amanda had taken her at home test, she had made a doctor's appointment who did indeed confirm that the couple after many years of struggling to conceive were expecting.

Busting with joy, the couple couldn't wait to phone friends and family. As they entered their middle age, both couldn't believe that finally after all those hard years of trying their dream of finally having a family was coming true. Both had never been so happy before in their entire life's.

Time passed and Luis went to every single doctor's appointment with Amanda checking the progress of their baby. Still working, Amanda seemed to have a glowing sort of energy she had never shown before. With each doctor's visit, her excitement grew along with her stomach.

Every morning before work she would stand in front of the full length mirror that hung on the back of their closet and lift her blouse up seeing if her tiny bump was growing anymore. Luis even went so far to start measuring it and laughed at how big her belly was getting. The two made love more than ever, both exhausted by the time they finished, sweating and gasping for breath in each others arms.

Soon the nursery was made. Luis spent all his free time working on it and soon it became their pride and joy. Painting, sanding, and building, Luis couldn't wait until it was finished so he could finally show Amanda.

Both stared at the ultrasound photos in wonder, pointing out the baby's head and body. The first time they heard it's heartbeat at the doctor's, Amanda thought she saw Luis begin to tear up.

They were finally going to be parents...

Luis brought her any food she was craving, and fussed over her staying on her feet for too long. Soon a large belly grew out of her tiny frame and she found even walking a great effort. Each time Luis laid his hands on her, they could feel the tiny kicks of their baby from inside. Each night, Luis would talk to her belly and sometimes read to it.

Soon they found out they were expecting a boy. Amanda had never seen Luis so happy. He was having a son, the same son he had wanted so badly for years. Soon after many lists, a name was chosen.

Jeffery.

Jeffery Fowler.

Luis had dreams of their little boy with thick dark hair, and Amanda's adorable eyes. He saw himself teaching his son how to walk, catch, and one day even drive. Every day at the office, he stared at the latest ultrasound photo on his desk, and couldn't help but smile. He couldn't wait to hold his baby in his arms.

Amanda felt the same exact way. She hoped the baby would take after Luis. After the wonderful baby shower, thrown by her sister, she began to collect dozens upon dozens of adorable sets of clothes for her son. Soon shopping, she would find herself with five or six packages. Tiny little shirts, pants, socks, hats...anything she could see herself dressing up her adorable little baby she knew would look just like a doll.

The nursery was finally finished and when Luis surprised her she gasped. Everything was perfect, the white sanded down crib, the elephant mobile, the rocking chair, and even the tiny little stuffed animals. She had never been so excited before in her entire life. The idea of late night feedings, changing, and loud cries seemed very well inviting to her. In fact, it seemed like Heaven. In no time she would be able to hold a tiny piece of her and Luis, a creation they had both worked so hard in making.

Soon she was on leave at work, and night after night she would place her hands around her perfectly round belly, and feel her son moving inside. She couldn't believe she had fallen so much in love with something that wasn't even born yet.

Then..the day came she went into labor.

She had passed her due date, and her last doctor's visit less than a week before had gone perfectly fine. Luis had his phone on him at all times, and she had been spending a lot of time off her very sore feet. Finally the cramps began, and then the contractions. She had woke Luis up in the middle of the night and together they timed them while she walked back and forth feeling slight discomfort in her lower back. Finally by morning they arrived at the hospital, giddy and nervous with excitement. This was finally it. They had come to have their baby.

They checked in and the doctor looked her over, a friendly kind old man she had been going to ever since the pregnancy began. Seeing how dilated she was, the nurses got her changed and a very nervous Luis helped her walk around before finally her water broke. By then it was evening and the waves of pain were coming stronger and stronger. Moaning out, she gripped her husband's hand who stood there, comforting her and telling her she was doing great. Finally the doctor came and said she was ready for delivery.

Amanda laid on the delivery table, her legs up as the nurses hooked her up to machines. Feeling her heart race, the only comfort she found was staring at Luis who looked just as scared now dressed in blue scrubs. Taking deep breaths, she knew it was time. Gripping his hand, she listened to the doctor and sat up as the nurses told her to begin pushing.

The pain was horrible, her insides feeling as if they were being torn in two. Screaming and crying, Amanda sat forward clutching onto Luis who along with the nurses coaxed her into pushing harder. Over and over again she bore down with all her might, crying and screaming as the doctor worked between her legs.

"Okay Amanda, I see the head. One more big push okay!"

Screaming, she leaned forward, still clutching onto Luis' hand before the worst pain in her entire life went through her before she felt her baby slide out of her, making her entire body feel drained and cold. The doctor stared down, looking at what she couldn't see. Right away his expression changed as total silence filled the room.

Luis took a second as Amanda collapsed against him. Straining to look forward, he met the doctor's worried eyes.

"What's wrong? Why isn't he crying?"

One of the nurses looked forward and met the doctor's eyes before he sighed deeply and looked up.

"I'm sorry, the cord wrapped around the baby's neck...it was stillborn."

With that, the doctor's gloved hands held their son up who was covered in his afterbirth. Right away much to Luis' horror, he saw the ugly gray cord wrapped around the baby's neck, as it laid there lifeless. Amanda took a second to catch on, she stared at the baby and saw it wasn't crying or moving. Taking a second, still dazed and weak she looked at it.

"What's wrong? Why isn't he crying?" What's wrong?!"

The doctor sighed before cutting the cord and carefully taking it from around the baby's neck which left an ugly purplish mark around it's light skin. Looking at both Luis and Amanda he shook his head.

"I don't know why it didn't pick up on the monitors, it must have just happened. I'm very sorry."

Luis blinked in disbelief.

"If it just happened maybe you can get his heart started! There has to be something you can do!"

Luis snapped as the doctor handed the baby's limp body over to one of the nurses who wouldn't even look Amanda or Luis in the eye. Right away panic and anger build in Luis as he screamed at them.

"Can't you hear me you idiots?! There has to be something you can do!"

He watched as the nurse took the dead baby over to a small table to clean it up. The other two nurses walked over blocking his view. Right away Amanda began to clutch onto him making a horrible wailing sound as the doctor tired to deliver the placenta. Trying to make sense out of what just happened, Luis listened to the clicks and beeps of the monitors before Amanda began to sob loudly, laying back and covering her face with her hands.

"Mr. Fowler, would you like something to help you relax?"

Turning almost in slow motion, Luis saw a nurse waiting with nervous eyes before Luis pulled away from Amanda's grip, leaving her sobbing on the delivery table with her legs open completely alone. In a complete daze, he slowly walked to where they had taken the baby. The nurse was still talking, but he ignored her. Instead he thought to himself that this was just a horrible dream. Some awful nightmare in which he would awake and Amanda would still be pregnant and everything would be okay. God wouldn't have allowed this to happen, this couldn't be it...

Looking over the nurses' shoulders, he stared down at his son who was now cleaned up and wrapped in a small blue blanket.

"Six pounds..."

He heard one of them say. Staring, he couldn't believe it. That's when his brow wrinkled as he stared.

"Why does he look like that?"

One of the nurses sighed before turning.

"He was born with downs Mr. Fowler."

Luis blinked again.

"What?"

No, that couldn't be. He knew Amanda was at high risk due to her age but they had done tests, ultrasounds...why hadn't they picked up on that?

"Mr. Fowler...we're taking your wife into recovery, we just sedated her and..."

The rest of the doctor's words blurred together. He turned and saw that Amanda had stopped crying. In fact she was laying flat on the table knocked out. Luis didn't listen to anything else before slowly saying...

"Is she...okay?"

The doctor slowly took his gloves off and sighed, his eyes full of pity.

"As of right now yes, we'll run some tests but besides being in a great deal of shock I'm sure she'll be okay. In time she'll be able to maybe have another child...this was one of those rare things that nobody could have avoided or prevented. When the baby was in position to deliver he must have wrapped the cord around his neck and the pressure of pushing caused it to wrap tighter around him. I'm very sorry..."

Luis gulped and looked back down at the baby who looked as if he saw just sleeping.

"He...has downs?"

The doctor looked over before frowning, his answer was enough.

"Doc...we ran tests, how couldn't we have picked up on that?"

"That Mr. Fowler is a mystery, We never did a 3D ultrasound, or an amino but there should have been something to show us...I'll be doing an autopsy tomorrow morning."

Luis looked back over at his dead son and before he could grab hold of the table, his eyes rolled back into his head and he crashed to the floor.

When he woke, the baby was still dead, and he was trapped in this nightmare.

Amanda broke down when he finally saw her shortly after. The doctors said he simply fainted due to shock and would be okay. He sat there like a zombie as she cried in her hands and shook all over, unable to believe that her baby she had carried for nine long months was dead. Their families came and of course everyone went to Amanda, holding and crying with her. He was hugged, patted on the back, and cried onto. Luis suspected the nurses had given him something simply because his reactions were delayed and slow. Nothing anyone said made sense or affected him. Finally Amanda's sister stuck around, questioning everything and talking with the doctor.

Nobody could believe it, and of course to such a nice couple that had wanted this baby so badly.

When he took Amanda home to their empty condo, it was a hot humid overcast day. This wasn't the homecoming either had expected and the sight of the car seat in his car made Luis sick. Amanda was still weak, but made it into the bedroom before curling up and pulling the covers over herself and blocking out at light. Luis saw the answering machine was filled with messages, but he didn't have the energy to check them. The boys at the station had been beyond understanding, and told him to take all the time he needed.

The doctor had filled a prescription for the two of them before leaving the hospital. After taking one of the pills. Luis found himself slightly stoned and feeling empty. Slowly he walked around the condo not knowing exactly where he was doing or what he would do. There was so much to do, yet Amanda's sister said she would take care of everything.

Slowly he made his way down the hall to the nursery where their baby was supposed to have gone. Sitting in the rocking chair, he looked around before hanging his head and sobbing. Feeling his chest ache, he cried and cried before finally he felt he had no tears left.

That night he laid in bed unable to sleep with Amanda beside him. Both had barley eaten anything, and were in too much shock to even speak. Instead they laid together in the darkness listening to the rain that was starting.

"Would you have...loved him even if he hadn't of died?"

He finally asked.

Amanda looked up at him, even in the dark he could see tears catching her eyes.

"What?"

"He would have had downs...we would have had a mentally handicapped child Amanda...would you have loved him?"

Amanda wiped her eyes before sitting up slightly, after a moment she spoke.

"Yes...it would have been a shock, and hard but of course I could have loved him. He was our son. Even if he was born without arms or legs, or blind...I would have loved him. That was our baby. How they didn't know he had it is beyond me, but I would do anything...anything to just hold him, take him home with us."

"Would you have...gotten an abortion had you known?"

"Of course not! I wanted that baby so much...I just wish...I wish...I wish..."

Her words began to break up as she started to cry again.

"I wish I would get a second chance and have him back. I just wanted my baby!"

Luis held her, listening to her sobs for almost an hour before finally she got herself under control. Now it was his turn.

"Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Love him, had he lived?"

"Yes...of course I would. I wouldn't have cared either. It would have been hard but...we wanted a family so badly. I keep thinking maybe that was God's way of putting him out of his misery, killing him before he could even be born...but I can't believe that. Why? Why our baby? I wouldn't have cared if he was sick, or retarded, or anything...that was our son!"

"I just want a second chance...maybe if I had gotten a C-second, or maybe if..."

Before she could say anything she began to cry again, her entire body shaking against his. Both over and over again went over what had happened, almost speaking out loud to God to prove that even with him having downs, they would have loved him and been so grateful to finally have the baby they had always wanted. But the truth remained the same, their poor innocent baby was dead, strangled before he could even be born.

Amanda's sister made all the arrangements and the baby was buried in a private burial. Amanda wore sunglasses and remained still. Having taken a few of those pills she was numb to the world and clutched into Luis as the small casket was lowered.

Jeffery Fowler was laid to rest.

That night Amanda cried in her sister's arms while Luis sat out back drinking beer and trying to force his tears away.

Weeks passed and finally Luis found himself one say ripping down the wallpaper and boxing up everything for the goodwill. In just one weekend the room was cleared out and all their hopes and dreams of their unborn son was packed and taken away. Luis cried plenty while doing it while Amanda slept for days on end in the bedroom, not even bothering to eat or shower. Weeks passed and both didn't go back to the grave. Finally Amanda went back to work. She said she couldn't stand all the pity filled looks and words of symphony given to her even when she went out to the market. Everyone knew what had happened and felt terrible.

Amanda simply went to work and two days later came home saying she couldn't do it. She needed more time. Luis was understanding and Amanda explained she felt as if she was having a breakdown. Remarking that maybe she should try and get started on that book idea she had been talking about, maybe some time off would be the best for her. Ever since they got married Amanda said she wanted to write a novel, what about exactly...she didn't know, only that she wanted to write one.

Time passed and soon their day turned into a routine. Luis would get up, shower, get his coffee, go to work. There he would push papers around and space out for hours on end without really doing anything. Finally he could come home when his shift was over, and find Amanda still asleep or simply sitting alone without the TV on in the living room. They would cook a small dinner, eat in silence, and go to bed before seven. On the weekends they spend half the time just sleeping, deeply depressed and pulling away from all their friends and family.

That's when the offer came...Luis saw it laying on his desk. An offer to be sheriff of New Orleans, a small section station right off the East district. The pay was much better, and after nearly four months of this depressing heartache...it might have been a saving grace.

Folding the paper, he decided that this was what Amanda and him needed. They had to leave Texas, and put all these broken dreams behind. Maybe this job offer was the second chance they needed, maybe it was what had been waiting for them ever since the baby died.

Four months...had the baby lived he could only begin to think of what they would be doing. Having a baby with special needs would have been hard. In fact, he didn't thin he could even wrap his head around how hard it would have been...but never, not for a million years would he have wished his son to bed dead. This heartache him and Amanda were feeling was impossible.

So after a few phone calls, he made sure that by the end of the month, Amanda and him would be moving. Putting in his notice, all the boys felt it was a great he was offered the new position and all agreed that this was what he needed. Spending the rest of the afternoon, he knew he would have to maybe fly out to check out houses, and put their own condo on the market. Keeping his mind busy with all the different things he needed to do was good. It was a break from the grief.

That evening he came home and didn't say a word to Amanda. In fact, both decided to try and have sex. After three or four times, Luis gave up, swearing and rolling over when he couldn't seem to get hard. Together they laid there with Amanda rubbing his arm. That's when he turned, slightly embarrassed and told her about the job. When he finished, she stared at him completely stunned.

"New Orleans?"

"Yep, they want me as sheriff at one of their stations. I spoke on the phone, guess the old one is retiring. The area is big and gets a lot of action every spring but it seems like a nice chance of pace from here. Besides I'll be making double what I'm making now and with the market being the way it is the condo..."

"Whoa, you took it?"

"Yeah I start next month. I all ready told the boys at the station. We might need to fly over there to look at places and..."

Amanda glared at him, pulling one of his shirts over her head.

"Luis...but we live here. We both got jobs we like, our families are here...you just took it without even talking to me?!"

"Amanda..."

Before she could say anything, Amanda swung her legs out and hurried out of the room, leaving him alone in the dark. The next morning he found her on the couch, her eyes raw from crying. Kneeling down beside her, he told her he would call the station up and say he couldn't take the position, but Amanda simply shook her head.

"I know what you were thinking, and even through I wish you told me...maybe you got the right idea. This place is full of memories and I hate that everybody knows. Maybe some time away is what we need."

That night they tried to make love again, it was hard for Luis to stay hard but this time they began, slowly and silent, totally unlike any other time they had slept together before. By the time he finished, he knew Amanda was crying.

The next morning, Amanda complained of cramps and made an appointment with her doctor. Asking if he couldn't take her, the two went and the drive there Amanda made a mental checklist of things they were going to have to get done. Both decided they would book a flight for the following weekend to go down there and get a lay of the land. As for the condo, Amanda's sister's lease was almost up and she had been looking for a large space like this within her budget.

The doctor took Amanda almost right away, this was her own doctor, not the man who had delivered their dead son. Luis knew Amanda had been closely watched with the medication she was still on, and the fact she was suffering from depression. Being taken into the back room, Amanda was looked over while Luis stayed in the waiting room. All ready his head was going a million miles a minute with what they were going to have to do before the move. He knew deep down inside Amanda didn't want to move, and the only reason she was doing this was to try and make him happy.

Fifteen minutes later Luis found himself with Amanda in the doctor's private office. Amanda was softly weeping beside him as the doctor explained Amanda would not be able to have another baby ever again.

It seemed as though after the delivery, and her age that the window had finally closed indeed. Their only chance of ever having their own family had died along with their son. On the ride back, Amanda refused to even talk. Instead she stared out the window, tears slipping down her face.

Luis knew one day they could maybe adopt, but at their age all ready he knew it would be tricky. Four months ago their baby had died, now this. It seemed as though they couldn't catch a break. Both decided not to tell anyone about what the doctor had told them. Instead that night Amanda was restless and when Luis tried to hold her she simply pulled away.

**One year later. **

The move had gone smoothly, and their going away party had been a small sad affair with friends and family wishing them the best. Amanda's sister had bought their condo, and the two of them had selected a nice little ranch style house to rent out for a few years with the option to buy when the lease ran out. It was in a nice area of town, and only ten minutes away from the station where Luis would be working.

The town was very interesting indeed, with rich history, and new faces. For Luis, it was a new start.

Everyone at the station was welcoming, and as far as they knew Luis and Amanda were a middle aged childless couple, there were no questions asked, or funny looks. Instead everyone was friendly and liked the fact that Luis had a good head on his shoulders. They talked about how spring was their wild month with the most arrest with drunken idiots making fools of themselves, The rest of the town for the most part of the year had their typical run ins and troublemakers, but really didn't seem that bad at all. There was a lot of poor white trash, and hustlers, all things Luis believed he could take care of and deal with.

A month later they moved down there and the large moving truck was parked in front of their new house when they arrived. The good thing about this new house was no spare bedrooms.

Amanda focused on moving them in, putting everything they had collected over their marriage in place, and making this new strange area their home. In no time she did it with her rare sense of style and started slowly getting out more, trying to make friends and stop living in that horrible Hell she had made for herself.

Luis began working and soon started coming home later and later. Work to him was his escape. The station, along with the men needed as much help as possible. Night after night he would come home to his dinner wrapped up and in the fridge with Amanda fast asleep. Most mornings he would wake up early, grab some coffee and head straight out, leaving Amanda completely alone.

She heard him get up and shower every morning, and like always kiss her cheek thinking she was sleeping. The moment she heard the door close she would slip out of bed and walk around that empty house they now owned. The days he was gone she would begin looking, seeing if there was any way she could get back into the work force. There were several different papers in the area that she had begun looking into, but she knew that sort of reporting wasn't exactly what she wanted now. Ever since the baby, her outlook on life was different.

That's when she first heard about the legend of Victor Crowley.

She was downtown, visiting the voodoo shops when she overheard some people talking about him. Her interest peaked and she began asking questions. For the very first time since the baby, there was something to focus on, to think of, and to keep her busy. That night when Luis came home, Amanda was spread out in their living-room with dozens of books, papers, copied off newspaper clippings, and her laptop open. She couldn't believe such a story existed, or the fact that all these missing persons and murders had gone unsolved.

Coming through the door, Luis raised an eyebrow. Usually when he came home she was all ready in bed. He had began to suspect this move hadn't been the smartest idea and thought she was depressed. Seeing her up, he was surprised. Slipping off his coat and hanging it in the hallway, he walked over, exhausted by the day.

"Amanda?"

Amanda looked up, sitting Indian style with her laptop on her legs.

"Hey...you gotta take a look at this stuff, it's insane!"

Walking over, unhooking his belt and placing it on the coffee table, he sat down beside her and stared at the website.

"Victor Crowley..."

"You heard about him right?!"

"I think so...isn't that the ghost story from the swamps. A few of the guys were talking about it a while back..."

"Read the story, your not gonna believe how long this has been going on for..."

Without a second thought Amanda slid the laptop over to Luis, leaning in close to him. Eying her, he couldn't believe the excitement and energy from her. He hasn't seen her like this for months. Humoring her, he took the laptop and began to read. Ten or so minutes later he sat back and listened as Amanda pointed out different articles and explained some of the stories and facts she had looked up.

By the end of it, Amanda was asking him to please let her look through some of the old records from the missing persons and the unsolved murders from that area. Right away Luis rolled his eyes.

"Amanda..."

But she insisted.

Crawling into bed a few hours later, he couldn't believe how giddy and excited Amanda seemed as she curled up beside him. Glancing over, he stared at her.

"What is it about this story that's got you so interested?"

Amanda shrugged in the darkness.

"Guess it just spoke to me...now I can look at those files tomorrow?"

Luis smirked, this was the most they had really talked since they moved here.

"Yeah sure, let me look around, least I can do...after all I am the sheriff."

Smirking, she nuzzled in close to him and kissed his cheek before snuggling in close and nearly instantly falling asleep. The next morning, Luis brought Amanda into his office and lugged three large boxes full of unsolved files in front of her.

"I'm risking my neck, but have fun."

Smiling, Amanda looked for just a second like how she used to. Thanking him, she dove in like a kid on Christmas, opening every single file and writing down notes. Watching her for a second, he simply smiled and left her to go on for his day. Around lunch time the two had lunch and he saw that her notebook was nearly filled. Smiling, he was glad that for once she seemed interested in something. That she didn't have that pained look across her face whenever he looked at her. That maybe after all this time the wounds could heal. That the flicking dream of having a family could finally be forgotten.

Still over and over again Luis was haunted by nightmares of that day their son was born. How he had strangled to death before he was even born, and then the horrible reality was that he would have been born with severe special needs.

That night, Luis needed to know the truth. Laying in bed beside her, he watched the ceiling fan twirl round and round above them before clearing his throat and glancing over at her.

"Mandy?"

"Hum?"

He didn't want to cause her any more pain, but he needed to know. Taking a second, he cleared his throat and tried to think of how exactly he was going to ask this. After a second he took a deep breath.

"Would you...well...would you have still loved the baby had he lived."

Amanda quickly turned over, staring at him in the darkness of their bedroom as if he was crazy.

"What?!"

Luis knew he was going about this the wrong way. Taking a second he turned and stared at her.

"We had no idea that the doctors missed that he would have had downs...had he lived and we found that out...would you have still loved him?"

"Luis what a crazy question!"

"I know...it's just, we knew the risks and all...and I couldn't believe it myself when I saw him. I guess everything happened so fast and I was in shock I've never really had the time to think about it. Been on my mind a lot lately."

"Yeah me too."

Luis raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"Really?"

"Yeah...guess it's reading about all this stuff. Makes my heart go out to this supposed killer ghost..."

Amanda gave a small humorless laugh before staring at him.

"Just makes me think how horrible that must have been. Hidden away by his father all those years, deformed, scared, not understanding why people were so cruel. I would like to believe his father loved him, Hell he did die of a broken heart after the accident...but just all those awful things that happened to think. It's terrible. I'm sure he still loved him even though he was a constant reminder of all the pain from the past...but he was still his child. So yes, of course I would have loved him. He was our son. Our baby that we worked so hard on having. I'll never think of him any different."

"I know that Mandy, I wasn't trying to say anything...I guess I just needed to know."

"It would have been hard, most likely harder than the two of us would have ever known. Still, I would have loved him with all my heart and even died for him. I still regret not holding him. That was our baby Luis..."

Luis knew very well the same regret Amanda felt. After the delivery the nurses had asked if he could have liked to hold the baby and see him. At the time Luis was in such terrible shock he simply said no. The next morning while arrangements were being made and Amanda was in recovery, the nurses offered again and Luis simply said no. Amanda who was being comforted by her sister refused as well. One of the nurses even offered to snip a piece of the baby's hair for Amanda who simply cried and said no. Unknown to her, Luis had asked the nurse to take a piece for him, and he still had it in an old shoe box he kept at the bottom of his closet which contained some old yearbooks, extra bullets, the old ultrasound photos, and the hair which was tied together. There wasn't much, but it was dark and soft and shortly after the baby was buried, he held it for comfort.

He knew one day he would show Amanda this, but knew he didn't have the courage nor heart to just yet.

Still, both hadn't even held the baby before it was buried and now that would have been the only child they would ever have.

"I know honey, sorry to bring it up...just on my mind."

"I wouldn't have wanted to put him in a home either. I mean sure it would be hard...but I would have wanted him with us. I think we would have made good parents...kept him safe and loved."

"Let's stop talking about it hon, I'm tired."

"Me too."

Patting her arm, he turned over never feeling worse in his life. A silent tear rolled down his face as he stared off into space, feeling alone and beyond angry. Their son should have been with them now. Laying in his crib.

Instead, here they were alone...

Time slowly crawled by and Amanda began writing. She claimed this would be her newest project and was gathering all the facts to start the book about the legend of Honey Island Swamp. Luis who seemed to be working all the time was happy she was busy, but still worried. It seemed as though he was working all the time and they were barley spending any time together.

One day he surprised her with a puppy dog, a golden lab he had picked up from a breeder on his way home from work one night. He had once had a dream in his head of after Amanda and himself having at least four of five children they would add a dog into the madness of it all. The type of dog he had as a kid, one that would love the children and be part of their life's. Greeting her inside as she sat in the office they now shared, sitting at her desk typing away like a mad woman, he showed her the dog who squirmed in his arms and right away her attention was taken away from her writing and he was relieved.

"Oh my God!"

She squealed, he reminding him of the Amanda he loved and knew before the baby died. Her eyes lighting up she jumped up from her chair and scooped the puppy up before covering it with kisses.

"Oh Luis, he's adorable!"

Luis smiled proudly and scratched the puppy behind the ears.

"He's got his shots and everything, and I have a five pound bag of puppy chow in the trunk of my car. Better get this buddy a name fast."

Smiling, Amanda stared at the puppy, stroking it's fine soft fur before looking him over.

"Rwrin."

"Rwrin?"

"Yeah you like it?"

"Like it...yeah sure it's different. Hey Rwrin, your a part of this family now...you gonna like it here?"

The dog began to pant making Luis and Amanda smile. For Luis, that was one of the last rare times he truly felt happy before his marriage began to fall apart.

For the next year Amanda worked and worked on the book, barley having any spare time whenever Luis was home from work, and quickly began to look for a publisher. Luis had simply flipped through the transcript and quickly gave up believing most of it was nonsense even though he would never out rightly admit that to her.

In no time a small publishing company called Tiger Publishing contacted Amanda and set up a meeting. While all of this was going on Luis was working almost twelve hour shifts at the station. Exausted whenever he came home, he would kick off his shoes and be fast asleep before his head even hit the pillow. Amanda meanwhile would be working until the wee hours of the morning in the office.

The day finally came when Amanda came with a pretty impressive check from the publishing company after the bought the book. The release date would be later that winter and depending on sales they wanted Amanda to do a promotional tour to follow. Giddy and excited with the news, Amanda couldn't seem to stop talking when she greeted Luis home one evening busting with excitement.

That night the two made love for the first time in months. Unknown to Amanda Luis was taking something to keep his performance in bed going since lately he had been having a hard time getting it up. Beyond embarrassed he visited his doctor who simply explained that with age and stress this happened to most men. Popping a few pills he had been recommended, he couldn't believe he needed a little blue pill to stay hard. The reality of his age was really hitting home along with the new wrinkles he saw on his face, and the slight gray that was developing in his hair.

The reality was setting forth that they were indeed getting older, and time was moving on.

At first Luis welcomed Amanda's writing, then he began to notice more and more that any free time he did have from working, she was never around. He knew he was mostly to blame for this. It was his choice to take the job here and throw himself into work. Weeks after months, after years turned into one long shift after the other. He hated Mardi Gras, and all the dumb idiots that came along every year. It seemed as though that entire week out of the whole year became the most dreaded. The usual was hauling in a bunch of dumb college kids who were found passed out in their own vomit on the street. Besides a few small busts, Luis simply counted down the hours until he could get home.

When Amanda started not being there, his attitude changed completely.

It began with her spending all hours of the night locked away in their shared office, which was slowly becoming just hers. Exhausted he would come in from work and peek in on her. The dog was always asleep by her feet as she glared at the computer and wrote like a mad woman.

When the book was published, welcomed to luke warm reviews Amanda went off on the promotional tour Luis never believed would happen. Here she would across the country trying her hardest to promote that foolish book, always finding new details and facts to support her case. Soon it became a complete embarrassment to Luis whenever he saw her on television morning shows, or hearing her voice on the local radio shows. She seemed to insist so badly that this stupid ghost story was real, and little did she know she was dragging her name through the mud as everyone poked fun at her.

When the tour ended, she didn't seem the bit discouraged. She claimed there would always be non believers but she met plenty of supports of the legend. She planned on writing another book, and continue reporting whenever she seemed fit.

Luis couldn't believe it. When she was on tour she barley called, or checked in. For months on end he came home to an empty home with nothing but TV dinners to eat. The warmth he had once dreamed of filling in this new home was cold and empty. Each night after walking the dog, he would fall asleep, depressed and alone.

Whenever somebody mentioned Amanda he would simply roll his eyes and claim that was just her to chase after a foolish dream.

When she did come back, filled with more energy he had ever seen, Luis couldn't believe it. Over their first dinner together the night she returned, both drank wine as Amanda went on and on about all the amazing places and people she had met and seen. Luis meanwhile felt bitter, cutting his food and silently listening.

That's when she mentioned a small local paper had offered her a job in reporting and she was thinking about taking the position while she started the new book. That's when Luis felt completely fed up. Putting down his fork and knife he stared at her as if she was crazy.

Amanda meanwhile didn't seem to notice.

That night both tried to make love, but when Luis positioned himself on top of her, he couldn't seem to finish. Frustrated and embarrassed he rolled over angry with himself, and with her. Hiking herself up on one elbow, Amanda sighed and drummed her fingers across his stomach.

"It's okay Luis, it happens to lots of guys."

Glaring at her, Luis rolled over unable to even look at her.

A few weeks later the arguments began. It started when Amanda began working at the newspaper and now was barley at the house at all. Between Luis' shifts at the station, and her new job and writing the two barley saw each other. Their house became an empty medium both barley were together at the same time.

Soon they began to argue over nothing whenever they did see each other. They started fights over the smallest of things. Luis began to suspect that Amanda was using him to gain police knowledge, and Amanda claimed he was being unfair.

Soon both were screaming at each other, and would slam doors in each others faces. Luis began sleeping on the sofa, and they would go months on end without talking.

Time passed and they grew more and more bitter.

The fights got worse and finally one night they had it out. Luis couldn't really remember how the fight started, but both were together for once in the kitchen yelling at each other after Luis just got back from the station. Both were screaming at each other going back and forth. Amanda put her hands on her hips.

"You don't think I know what people are saying? Everyone knows you think I'm a huge joke!"

Luis pointed his finger, his head pounding.

"Don't pretend you ain't! It's time to stop running around the city chasing ghost stories. Jesus Amanda your a full grown woman!"

Amanda glared at him.

"Oh! So you admit it! Real nice!"

"Well I'm sorry, ever since you started to write this stupid book you're never home! Only time I see you is whenever you want information on some case!"

"Oh I'm never home?! Who's idea was it to move to this city?! I thought we were here for a second chance but instead you just wanted me locked away in this house while you spend you're entire fucking life at that station! I'm sorry Luis but your not the only one allowed to work!"

Luis shot a look.

"As if that's working! Please!"

"Fuck you! You've been angry with me ever since the baby died! I know you think it was my fault! Well guess what you bastard, I know you! I know you wouldn't have loved him if he had lived! You would have thought of him as a freak! A fucking freak!"

Without thinking Luis swung out and slapped Amanda straight across the face. The hit was so hard he heard the echo of his hand hitting the side of her cheek.

There was silence as she gasped the side of her all ready red face and stared at him with wide disbelieving eyes. Right away Luis' face dropped, knowing what he had done. In all the years they had been married, he had never risen a hand to her.

"Amanda..."

"Fuck you!"

With a slam of the back door, she was gone.

Three months later, Luis was served with the divorce papers.

Amanda and Luis had spoken of course after the fight in which Luis begged her to forgive him. Instead she simply told him she felt they needed time apart, that they were on the verge of killing each other and she couldn't stand it.

A few weeks later and the fights began. Finally Amanda screamed at Luis, packing her bags and stormed out. Last he heard she was renting an apartment down in the city and still working at the paper. He knew how fast talk went around that area, and tried to stay out of it.

He wasn't surprised when he was served with the papers. Before calling his lawyer, he simply drove down to where Amanda was staying and hammered on her door. Half expecting her not to answer, he found her home, dressed in a blouse and jeans.

"What do you want?"

"Do this is it huh?"

Luis held up the papers that had come in the mail along with the letter from Amanda's lawyer. Taking a second Amanda sighed before shaking her head. Dropping her eyes, she didn't look as though she had any fight left in her. Feeling his blood pressure boil, Luis took a deep breath.

"So this is it? This is fucking it? One bad right and you wanna throw our marriage away like that?"

Amanda lifted her eyes and simply shook her head.

"Oh Luis...it wasn't just one fight, it's been dozens of them. We tried to move here and start over after what happened when we lost Jeffery..."

Just hearing his name felt like a dagger to Luis' heart. Stiffening, he frowned as she went on.

"You were so busy with work, and then I started with the book and the research, we barley saw each other. I know you wanna blame my career on what happened to us, but face it. Things will never be the same like how they were back home. The day our son died, so didn't a part of us. We tried to make it work...but we lead different life's not. I just wanna end things before it gets worse...I mean I don't want us to get bad, you know."

Luis wanted to scream, in fact he wanted to fight...instead he simply dropped his eyes and sighed staring down at the papers. Without so much as another word, Luis turned and walked away.

Within four months the divorce was almost final. Luis didn't put up much of a fight. In fact he even offered to have her get the house which was almost paid off. Instead Amanda said she was fine and liked where she was living now. They split up their joined bank accounts and any investments they had made over the course of their marriage along with whatever was left of value. Finally the day came when Amanda stopped by to pack up the last of her things. Luis helped her while their dog wagged his tail, the choice had been made that she would take him since Luis was barley home.

In another week they would sign the final papers and they would be officially divorced. The truth of what was really happening was finally starting to set in.

Luis thought back on the years they had spent and how all of it was finally ending.

Before he helped her pack up the last of her things into her car, he turned.

"Here..."

Amanda raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want it anywhere, take it and pawn it..."

Dropping the wedding band into her hand, Amanda stared at it before sighing.

"Luis..."

Luis didn't want to start anything, instead he put his hands on his hips and sighed.

"I noticed you haven't been wearing yours lately so I don't much see the point."

Amanda looked at her naked fingers and sighed before staring at him.

"Luis..."

"Don't...let's just leave it as it is okay?"

Amanda nodded before looking at it.

"I never meant for us to hurt each other...you know that right?"

Luis nodded, very badly wanting to leave. Sighing he reached over to the front porch and picked up one of his large police station radios he used whenever he was at work. Handing it over he sighed. Amanda held it looking puzzled.

"What's this?"

"One of my radios. These stations are private for police use only...but since I don't believe in those damn cell phones and you're going to be living alone now...thought it might be best if you keep it in case of emergency. Just press down on the side button to talk and release, it's channel four."

Amanda stared at the ring and radio before looking at him, tears reflecting in her eyes.

"Luis..."

"Bye Amanda..."

Turning, he climbed the steps and slammed the door behind him.

Talk spread quickly that the two had split up even though nearly everybody knew they had been having problems. Luis would arrive at the station tired, depressed, and mostly lonely. He would remember before things got really bad how Amanda used to swing by dropping off lunch for him. How he used to smile whenever he saw her walking into his office, those dazzling blue eyes of her flashing. He knew that coming down here had been a mistake, but he so badly had wanted a second chance.

Instead he did exactly what she should have done in all matters speaking. She pieced up the broken pieces and moved on. She focused on a career, and didn't let herself to be locked up in this house alone as he spent all his time at the station. She moved on, and didn't let the fact she had become a walking joke in the media world bother her. She had followed her dreams, as silly as they had been and became more independent than he ever knew she could be.

But it had come to a cost.

Their marriage had ended after all these years, and he simply allowed it to happen.

Now half a year later here he was, cowering in the boat, terrified beyond his wildest dreams and now hearing Amanda's voice.

They had seen each other around town here and there since the divorce became official. Luis knew Amanda was still working for the paper, and still in the process of trying to write her next book. He missed her plenty, in fact he began to suspect the new gray hairs he had discovered over the last few months was a result of how empty and lonely his life had become.

A few of the guys at the station tried to get him to come along whenever they all knocked back a few beers at the pubs down town. Instead Luis always refused, knowing the only thing he would find in a place like that would be a cheap one night stand.

Instead night after night he laid awake wondering where he went wrong?

He had seen her in passing, and causally scanned over a few of her articles. He still felt bitter and angry, but worse of all worried. He wanted so badly to blame her for everything that had happened, yet knew there was nothing he could do. It was Amanda's choice to end the marriage, and any fight he had inside of him had died along with their son.

He wondered what life would have been if Jeffery would have lived. The idea of having a child with special needs seemed so unrealistic he couldn't seem to wrap his mind around it. He suspected the shock of their child having downs would have of course been a shock, but they would have loved him despite everything. After all, he would have been their own child...a piece of both of them, and the baby they had worked so hard on having.

It would have been tough, Hell he knew it would have been most likely the hardest thing Amanda and him would have faced. Still, he would have been theirs and they would have loved him.

He suspected they wouldn't have placed him anywhere like those special homes he had heard about. Knowing Amanda he knew they would have kept him with them and tried their hardest.

Faint flicking images of him holding his son would always go across his mind whenever he was laying in bed. Faint hopeful daydreams of teaching his son how to walk, tossing a ball with him out back, trying his hardest to make him feel normal.

There was also another fantasy he had that he hated to admit. The fantasy that the baby would have turned out fine with no problems at all. That his son would have been perfect, and he saw himself old and gray teaching him how to drive and how to talk to girls. A faint image of Amanda and himself seeing him off to college, both proud and extremely sad.

They had ran into each other here and there but besides a few awkward minutes they would hurry on their way.

This morning she had arrived at the station looking exactly how she used to. She was buzzing with excitement when she had heard about the murders at the swamp and had begged him to cover the story. All ready overwhelmed with stress, he had been bitter and short with her before leaving.

It wasn't until now that his thoughts went back to her when he faintly heard her name yelling in the distance. He had heard her calling for him.

Right away his stomach rolled at the thought of her out there with that monster waiting.

"Who's Amanda?"

"It's my wife!"

He knew he needed to get to her, to save her. No, this beast wouldn't have her. That was his wife and he would protect her no matter what. Instead of thinking, all he knew was that he needed to get to her. All he wanted was to say he was sorry. To hold her tight in his arms and take her home.

Instead just as he stared off into the darkness and called her name, the creature appeared, grabbing his head with it's large oversized deformed hands. His eyes widening, he stared up into it's horrible face and just as the first scream escaped his lips the belt sander was shoved right into his vision. There was horrible, terrible pain as he screamed and began to choke on his own blood. His entire body convulsed as he felt everyone around him get ripped apart.

Before everything darkened his last thought was that Amanda was still out there.

His wife...

Less than eight minutes later Amanda was being yanked off the ground as she stared up into the monster's face. The same monster she had been studying and writing about for years. The same monster she had believed in, and was faintly reminded of her own child who was taken away from her. A child she had wanted so badly and had died before he was even born. A child who would have been mentally retarded, and most likely singled out and picked on as he had been.

"I knew you were real!"

She cried as she was yanked further up. Her heart racing a mile a minute. All she wanted at that exact moment was her husband even though she knew deep down inside he was dead.

The monster's hot breath fell upon her as she cried.

"I wanted to save you!"

With that the monster ripped her heart clean off as she screamed. Her last thoughts of her own baby she had tried to save but was unable to.

By the end of the night both Amanda and Luis were murdered. The pain they had felt for so many years finally put to rest.


End file.
